The mother of all #memoriesI was troubled, confused and agitated, with the sudden, unnecessary deprivation I was facing. She was craving for oxygen. So was I.

The nurses were gossiping in a corner about their boyfriends and mothers-in-law. The doctors were lounging in their cabins since I didn’t see any. The visitors were cussing about the odour of disinfectant. And pregnant women were getting hyper with false labour.

Meanwhile she sank into oblivion. Oh, by the way ‘She’ is my mom. Sorry I forgot to mention. It’s the lack of oxygen I guess.

So, we were both basically about to retire for our heavenly abode – me, an unborn baby, and my mom in her early twenties. Maybe I am being presumptuous about me heading for the heavens – but, excuse me, I had not had the opportunity to sin as yet, had I?

Anyway, just as we were knocking on heaven’s door, the doctor walked in with the nurses, just like in the movies. The last action hero, reprimanding the vamps about their sins (gossiping in this case). And just as I was about to bid farewell to this unknown world, I suddenly found myself crying and howling, troubled by all the confusion whether I was to go or stay. And as if all this wasn’t enough, all these insensitive people round me started staring at me with wide, shocked eyes.

You see, my head has taken a strange shape that vaguely resembled an amoeba, that too a disfigured one.
Remember the oxygen shortage? And whose fault was that? I wasn’t offended for nothing. Stupid gossiping cost me such me embarrassment on my first show. My mum still cribs, “You were the most difficult delivery I had!” I can’t even complain. What can I say- “I want to sue so-and-so because they unceremoniously delivered me into this world, otherwise I would have been sailing on a cute puffy cloud with a little halo around my head, playing a little harp”?

But, despite all my cribbing, I am glad the doctor turned up in time. I had a leg to shake, sing until I am told to shut up, make mud castles, steal roses from my neighbours, devour lots of #chocolates, do a two plus two equals five, bully my little #siblings, help my dirty sister out of a sewage drain, drool over a red Ferrari, bend and break some rules, be mean to some sly, sugar-coated people, discover my wanderlust, fall in #love and blah, blah, blah.